I grabbed my garden gloves and headed out to the garden. Only to be stopped in my tracks. All around me were noises. Loud noises. Lawnmowers, high-pitched blowers and even music blared around me.

I paused for a moment to check the day of the week. It was Wednesday. You expect these kinds of noises on a Saturday afternoon, but not on a Wednesday evening. This is what happens when you’re living in a Pandemic.

More people are out in their yards and gardens. That’s great. But loud garden tools are what many people use these days. And if you live in a neighborhood the sound will carry to everyone.

This got me thinking about yard and garden etiquette. Although we are working in our own yards, what we do affects those around us. And it’s not just gardening noises that pose a problem. Barking dogs, messy plants, and late-night hours can be a struggle for many of us.

So how can we enjoy our outdoor areas and still be a good neighbor? And how do we deal with a neighbor when there’s a problem?

How to be a Better Outdoor Neighbor…

Start with Yourself

If you want to have better outdoor neighbors, then you need to be a better outdoor neighbor. So start with yourself. You can’t expect the people living around you to make all the effort. You’ll have so much more success if you make changes first.

So how do you know what areas you might need to work on? Here are some ways to improve your neighborliness.

1. Walk the perimeter of your yard and look for any potential problems. Do you have any trees or shrubs hanging into your neighbor’s yard? Now if it’s a lilac tree with lovely flowers, they might not mind. But if you’ve got a massive tree pushing against their delicate dogwood, this could be a problem. Time to get out the pruners.
2. Consider the view from your neighbor’s perspective. Are you throwing your piles of junk in an out-of-the-way area that they have to look at every day? Are your shrubs overgrown or lawn unmowed? Or in the summer do you have lovely flowers for all to enjoy but now they’re a mess of dried stems and stalks that you didn’t clean up last fall? It’s time to clean up your messy yard.
3. Take a moment and think about your pets. Do your dogs bark incessantly when you let them out to do their business? It’s not pleasant for anyone to have to listen to your barking dogs, so go out with them to keep them quiet.
4. And how about your noise level. Do you have the mower going at 7 am? A lot of people enjoy sleeping in and your mower is waking them up! Or are you a night owl who enjoys visiting around the outdoor firepit until the wee hours when others are trying to sleep. You need to respect your neighbor’s early mornings and late nights.

If we want to create an outdoors that we can enjoy, then we need to be willing to be a good neighbor. So start with what you can do to improve the situation.

Reach Out to Your Neighbors

If you’re having problems with your neighbors, it helps to make connections with them before you try to correct the problem. It’s a lot easier and more productive if you’re talking to your “friend” and not just the person who lives next door.

Here are a few ways to make a connection with your neighbor:

• Bake some cookies, a loaf of bread or a pie to share with them. Everyone enjoys home-baked goods.
• Leave a bouquet of flowers on their porch with a note so they know the flowers came from you.
• When you’re harvesting produce, share some of the bounty with your neighbors. For example, we share eggs with the neighbors who have to listen to the occasional noises from our chickens.
• Invite your neighbors over for a relaxing evening outdoors. You can social distance around your firepit. Just have your neighbors bring their own beverages and arrange the chairs so you’re sitting apart.

When you reach out to your neighbors, they will often be happy about the connection. Normally, our lives are so busy we don’t have time. But with so much time on our hands these days, you have no excuse for not trying to form some neighborly connections even from a distance.

Related: 5 Ways to Show Kindness to Your Neighbors

Share Problems in a Kind Way

You have shown yourself to be a good neighbor. You’ve addressed the problems that you were making and tried to correct any issues. And you are regularly blessing your neighbor with good things like rhubarb pie.

Now you can start to address any problems that you’re having. When you reach out, you might start by asking if there are any issues that your neighbor has with you. You might discover that your cat has been using their vegetable garden as an outhouse for example. Be open and honest about wanting to correct any problems that your neighbor has with you.

Often, the neighbor will then ask if there are any problems that they can correct. This is your chance to share the problem. But share it in a kind way. Chastising or belittling them will not get you results. It’s okay to be open about any problems but remember that you live next door and the problems could get worse if you aren’t tactful.

Keep in mind that sometimes it can take years of interaction before your neighbor is willing to make a correction. And sometimes you will never see results.

One of our neighbors has two massive sycamore trees and the wind blows the leaves into the yards of three homes. Because sycamore leaves drop slowly over the winter instead of all at once, all three of us spend much of the winter and spring, cleaning up those leaves. The neighbor with the trees has very few leaves to clean up because of the normal direction of the wind.

And the massive branches that hang over into our yards interfere with the growth of our trees. This neighbor knows that all the neighbors have problems with their trees but they choose not to do anything about it. It’s a situation we’re never going to change. It’s been over 30 years and those trees aren’t going anywhere.

Sometimes you have to change your perspective. In any situation look at the positive benefits. For me, I get lots of good exercise by having to rake leaves during the winter months when I’m less physically active. That is definitely a positive benefit.

As difficult as it might be, remember to be thoughtful and kind to these neighbors. You don’t know at what point they might finally decide to make a change for the better.

Having good neighbors means being good neighbors. So look to what you can do and let the rest go.

As I head out into that noisy evening, I could get angry and frustrated that I have to listen to whiny blowers, lawnmowers, and loud music. I could put in earplugs to lessen the noise. Or I could do an inside chore. I choose instead, to take a moment and thank God that my neighbors are all healthy enough to be working in their yards. And that is truly a blessing!